Honestly procuring paper is now a most irksome business. Paper paper having become a precious (black market) commodity. An amazing fact: not so long ago there were shops selling paper paper. There was no rationing either! Of course you won’t find a single stationary outlet open nowadays. At recycling centres Auld Archie has witnessed unseemly scenes; dealers in party napkins fighting it out against the wholesalers of greeting cards.
Supply of paper…
… is heavily regulated. The forests monitored. Pine saplings inserted with miniature e-gyroscopes, which detect small vibrations in the wind to more drastic shifts of orientation: vertical to horizontal. This indicating illicit tree removal.
No longer is paper paper legally manufactured. The mills have all been dynamited. Auld Archie’s mates are re-building – in secret – a water wheel for illicit paper production and to crush clandestine grain.
Artisan friends of the Kommune make paper from hemp but the process is finicky, time consuming, and the end product is often fluffily textured like a bathroom flannel. A world removed from a pristine sheet of foolscap.
Underground movements, to get their hands on paper paper, must take great risks. Anyone caught with more than their allocated (miserly) amount will find themselves prosecuted pronto.
Opaque wisehat…
… is our paper paper of choice. Minimal show-through. Nobody can know what you are writing or reading.
Auld Archie smuggles it in when he can. A gift to gladden the spirit.
On a screen the spysters # can potentially read anything you write. Shun the digital. Whether imparting a minor confidence or a top secret message, never ever use a digital interface. A much the safer option is the humble toilet roll.
# spysters – spying shysters.