News of the e-balloon project had initially passed Calculus by. To keep abreast of local events, the Kommune relies upon Auld Archie and Mickey, neither of whom had visited the château lately.
Calculus is wont to go for long walks and one of his favourite destinations is the towpath of Wilders River. The walk helps to set his thoughts in order, and, afterwards, he returns to the château in calmer frame of mind. This was not the case, however, the day he got chatting to an old gypsy.
Sat on a bench across from the abandoned apple orchard, the gypsy had been quenching his thirst with some home-made cider. His tattooed body was shaking violently with DTs, and Calculus had not expected anything more than the most cursory of greetings.
Boozers’ etiquette
The old gypsy, visibly tipsy, invited Calculus to drink from his dirty bottle. In not hesitating to take a swig, granddad earned the gypsy’s trust. The gypsy, having recognised a fellow anti-authoritarian soul, divulged the following information:
1. Inside a hitherto empty warehouse, on the sun baked banks of the river, they were building an enormous e-balloon.
2. In the town square, on market day, they had stands with miniaturised models of the e-balloon. Josef A’s lackeys, in promoting the e-balloon, spoke of the benefits it would bring.
The e-balloon comes with telepathic functions (industry standard) and free e-storage space for local businesses. Seamlessly linked, of course, to googliac. To add insult to injury, they claim the e-balloon will provide welcome shade in summer.
The gypsy’s body had ceased to shake, having finally registered the alcohol in his bloodstream. He had an engaging manner, and Calculus listened to what he had to say with some amusement. He spoke of the merits of grilled fowl before referring to Josef A’s high tech kit as an ‘enormous condom.’ Calculus’s wizened features broke into an illegal smile. Shlott’em! Words spoken in unison as they parted company.
*
At first Calculus had been unconcerned. It had seemed a hare-brained scheme. But when aeronautical engineers arrived in the area, he became angrily convinced of its feasibility.
– Air heads! The lots of them.
Oh, the irony of it! Over a matter that would have brought unconfined joy to La Famille Sauvette, Calculus has become highly distressed.
– It is the devil’s digital mist and Mount Wilders is to be engulfed in it.
The ramifications were sinking in. The erection of a giant electronic condom meant the expansion of Josef A’s digital empire. Easy to guess at what would follow: aerial surveillance of the château; campaigns with mean spirited e-petitions to have us expelled.