The château and its environs must remain free of execrable pollutants: electro-magnetic fields and dig-ether-al. On all non-natural forms of radiation, Calculus counsels keeping a wary eye. Polluting the air with marijuana and multi-lit beedis does not register on his lists of concern. The quality of his fastidious nature being somewhat strained!
There aren’t many professional detectors of dig-ether-al who operate in Wilders and its immediate vicinity. And, when it comes to allaying the fears of Calculus, there is only one (Wally Wilberforce) who works with the requisite rigour.
Wally by name, not by nature.
Wally uses an assortment of clunky instruments with antique dials. They are disconcertingly mechanical in appearance, their electronic components concealed. Wally keeps such equipment about his person at all times. The professional ignominy at finding himself bugged would be too much to bear.
Calculus hasn’t always been suspicious of technology. Long before coming to Wilders – around the time he jettisoned his surname – he used to hack his own hearing aid, tuning in to local Wi-Fi networks and dig-ether-al: free audio streaming!
Later, to his considerable horror, he realised digital technology has built in reversibility. Meaning Josef A could hack into his brain via the hearing aid. A truly terrifying scenario. You can see why Calculus opted for auditory disability. He claims he has a natural ability to lip read. i don’t know if that is true. But in most conversations he manages well enough, by doing most of the conversing!
*
Only after much twiddling and tinkering of the instruments will Wally pronounce himself ready to wander the château and its grounds in search of ‘e-clouds,’ a quaint old fashioned term he uses for dig-ether-al. Wally is very much old school. So as to properly concentrate Wally works alone; his vision focussed upon e-detector rods. Like a water dowser’s divining stick, the rods tremble in his hands. An efficacious technique. For, over the years Wally has located and retrieved many innocuous e-devices, mislaid by stoners, tourists or monks.
Wally has yet to unmask a ‘living’ e-bug or an actual digital network. Following an afternoon of extensively searching the château and its grounds, he will typically exclaim ‘ALL CLEAN.’
– Are you sure?
– Calculus, you can’t find what isn’t there.
– Wally, allow me to congratulate you on your impeccable logic.
Then, over a beer and beedi, they will earnestly engage in talk of high tech state spycraft; unfathomable techno babble that i have learned to avoid joining in.